Arab Culture and Family

In Arab culture decisions are usually decided based on what is best for the family.This usually means personal desires and satisfaction are sacrificed for the benefit of the family as a collective. The family usually has determined roles where the father is the head of the household as well as the financial provider. The father also instills cultural, religious, and social values within the family unit. The mother, usually has a complimenting role and  is the caregiver. Her responsibilities include taking care of the children, cooking, cleaning, along with other household duties, and childbearing¹.

Parental influence is very strong throughout a child’s entire life. Paternal strength is seen in arranged marriages. When a daughter is of age to marry her parents will look for a suitable husband. When looking for suitors parents turn to family and friends to find the best match for their children. The last name of someone means everything and the stigma attached to a family name can make someone either a great suitor or undesirable. This works for both men and women and their family names can measure respect, social status, and honor within the Arab community²

Once  marriage takes place and a couple creates a family, gender roles are clearly defined. Giving birth to a son is very important to allow the family name to be maintained. If a son is born he is taught how to maintain family honor and stability. Men then become part of the patriarchal system, where sons receive more attention and privileges than daughters. Boys will usually receive a higher education compared to girls, and will also receive better careers, and financial independence. ³ Girls are then taught domestic responsibilities, how to take care of their future husbands, and are taught to be polite, passive, and docile.[19]

Patriarchy

The Middle East has a patriarchal culture, where Middle Eastern traditional society is fromed. Research has indicated that patriarchy is a contributor to domestic violence in the Arab community in American and in the Middle East. However, not all who follow the traditions of patriarchy are abusive, nor will encourage abuse.

Arab women are allowed to work outside the household but men are still considered the final authority in the family, society, and culture. Men are considered “masters of the house” ⁴. In some cases when a man feels like his role in the household is being threatened he may respond with violence. If a man does hurt his wife both parties recognized the man is responsible, however the man may get away with his actions because he is the head of the household ⁵.

Patriarchal tradition socializes Arab women to be passive and respectful to men, while men are given the right to express anger violently and sometimes without consequence. Women are consider unequal to men and are placed in specific gender roles. Women must run the household and men are to address finances and keep the family financially supported while being the leader of the family. This mandates that premarital virginity and sexual loyalty after marriage is a requirement. Therefore when a female family member transgresses by failure to remain subordinate, some males feel it is their right to defend their family honor through power and control. This can range from social isolation of the woman, to physical restrain, and in some cases death.

Usually the women’s families waver on their support for their daughter. Some families are quite supportive and they will help shelter and protect their child from abuser. In many situations the family will not take back their daughter as she has somehow brought shame to the family by doing something that made the husband abuse her in the first place. Another issue is that the family is afraid for their daughter to get a divorce as she would been seen as undesirable. Because behaviors in the Middle East are related to the concepts of honor and shame which are given the highest moral values, immigrants remain faithful to these values even in the USA ⁶.

It may be difficult for outsiders to recognize that a man is abusing his wife as most abuse Abusive men are chivalrous regardless of aggressive and angry in the home. In the Arab World DV is a significant social problem due to lack of legal protections, public education, and services for victims.

“Speak Out” a short video about domestic violence in Egypt and how culture allows this to continue.

Positives to Patriarchy

Patrilineal kinship involves protection for the women by their fathers and brothers. A wife having trouble with her husband can call on her patrilineal kinsmen and women to help her. If they are respected they will confront a violent or abusive husband. However if the women doesn’t live near her patrilineal kinship she will be without protection, ie immigrants.

In Arab society members of two or three generations dwell in a single household or, in the case of wealthier families, in a family compound. This extended household centers around a married man and some of his adult sons and their families. A grandparent may also reside in the household. A variation on this structure is for several brothers and their respective families to reside in a compound with a grandparent and other elderly relatives.

Among Arab Americans, the large extended family constituting a single household is found only among recent immigrants. As families acculturate and assimilate they tend to form nuclear families with, occasionally, the addition of an elderly grandparent, and an unmarried adult child. Among less assimilated families, adult married children set up a household near their parents and married siblings. This arrangement allows the maintenance of extended family networks, while enjoying the benefits of living in a nuclear family ⁷ .

 

Link to Bibliography